Welcome back to Having a Debt Free Marriage.
In the first part, I established four steps which are 1. Setting a marriage budget, 2. Pre-selling yourself to your In-laws, 3. Negotiating rightly and 4. Saving years ahead for the marriage project.
If you missed it, please follow this link to catch up. https://web.facebook.com/roborbliss1/posts/2032997670291142
Now, let’s continue…
4b. Involve your Spouse in the Saving: There’s no law that said only the man must finance the wedding ceremony. Let your wife contribute as well. I know a lot of people may pull back on this but it is very valid. It’s a team effort. I strongly recommend that both husband and wife ‘to be’ should be active financially. It may not be 50/50 but what if the wife helped out with as little as 10, 20, 30 or even 40%? The burden on the man is reduced and you have a happier marriage. Ladies, don’t spend all you earn on fashion and looks. Save for your marriage too, you’ll earn the respect of your husband more. In my book Money Bliss, I shared how much you must save at every age bracket to enjoy financial bliss. And all is centred on having a plan for every kobo you earn. If you save for every project, you will have financial ease.
5. Choose your crowd wisely: The most expensive part of a wedding ceremony is the reception, so choose a crowd that you can afford. If you’re not careful, you will spend your annual salary if not more on just reception. Be intentional with the number of people you want to attend. On the average, the cost per head in a single ceremony these days is between N1,000 and N5,000. Feeding, Drinks, Hall, Decor, Entertainment and more. So the more people you invite the more you spend. Do you really need your entire clan to attend?
Don’t forget to make room for extras cos there will always be ‘follow comes’ the “owambe” freaks.
6. Be your first Event Planner: I know by now you may start wondering why you should do all these by yourself. Very simple, if someone else does it for you, they will plan it to big or too small. “Na only you know wetin you get for ya akant”. By this I mean, draw your own plan first before you invite a pro or third party. Do you want to have a live band or DJ? Big hall or a small one? What kind of decor do you want? You must set the pace for what you want and can afford first. Sit your spouse down and agree on the hall. The kind of clothing to use. Do you really need to change thrice? I know its a once in a lifetime event but don’t forget no one will remember how glorious your event was in a few months from now. We’ll all forget but you will be paying debts.
What if your parents or you parents-in-law conflict with your plans? No worries find the nearest ‘bus stop to alight’. Push the boundaries, especially if you’re funding most parts.
7. The Aesthetics: When we were planning for our marriage ceremony, my wife and I went around the city looking for a hall. The first hall was 450k, the second was 500k. Later saw one for 250k and guess what the budget was? A maximum of 150k. I knew there was going to be an issue so I went the extra mile, drove around the town until I got a better deal. Next to food and drinks, the highest consuming part of a wedding is the Aesthetics (hall, decoration, photography, makeup and music etc). Don’t go overboard here… Look for moderate rates. Remove some features to cut cost. Get a hall that is accessible, it mustn’t be the most popular or closest. After all most of the attendees will come in their cars. Negotiate everything, look for what you can offer as bait to foster the negotiation.
8. Have an emergency contingency plan: Things can go bad. And trust me, you’ll be disappointed if you don’t have any backups. In my case, I had about 100k untouched as backup funds. After our marriage ceremony, I had some balance left. Before the wedding day, all bills were settled except for the balance of the photographer. During the reception, I transferred the balance to him and soon after that, I left the venue with my bride. Got home, refreshed and did some stress relief exercises. The rest is history today. And I’m ever grateful to God for the wisdom and ability to do all that.
9. Don’t worry about what people will say: In Nigerian ceremonies, there are always complaints of not enough food or drink so you won’t be the first. Ladies and gentlemen, personally, the most important thing is a good home, not the ceremony. People will forget what they ate, drank or how the place looked but you will not forget the stress you went through and no other person is to be blamed for it. You don’t deserve to start your marital journey under pressure of debts and lack. Know what you want, agree with your spouse and just get married.
Like I said in the beginning, if you have the means, do your thing. But I still suggest you be prudent and invest those funds in your marriage, children to come and your life rather than blowing so much in one day.
These steps worked for me and people I’ve shared them with but I also believe there are more.
Do you agree with me? What was your experience and what did I miss? Please share with us in the comments, let’s help some folks get married on the right path.
Till I come your way again,
I Value You!
I’m Robor Bliss, the financial Strategist that helps you plan your finances to enjoy today and have a secured tomorrow.
To be economical with the statistics, more than 60% of couples in Nigeria start their marriage with debts. In fact, some of them pay these debts for years into the marriage and some are still paying today. What I’m about to share with you are tested and proven ways you can start your family debt free and have a debt free marriage.
So I heard you found the man or woman of your dreams and you’re engaged. Congratulations! Now it’s time to plan the wedding. Your destination is Dubai, right? Hehehehe! The Lord is good. It’s a noble thing to celebrate your wedding with friends and family but doing it at the expense of the financial stability of your family doesn’t worth it. But if you have the means, common let’s paint the town red.
Three years ago when I wanted to get married. When I went to tell my uncle and he quoted this scripture for me. “Seek ye first the kingdom of cash and all other things will be added”. Then he asked, do you have the funds to venture into marriage now? I smiled and said yes! Long story short, I got married to my lovely wife and life has been good.
Guess what I did not take any loan from anyone. A few family members sent in gifts and volunteered to do a few things but that was it. I bore the financial consequences. And I can tell you for a fact that the peace and stability with which you start your family matters.
I know couples who started fighting the following week they got married because of money. I’ve heard and I’m sure you would have heard of couples whose marriage didn’t last one year because of ‘money palava’.
The truth is MONEY is a crucial part of marriage and can’t be overlooked.
Are you about getting married but don’t know how to fund it? Here’s how you can do it. –
1. Set a Budget: This is the very first step towards achieving a debt-free wedding ceremony. Sit with your wife/husband to be and agree on the budget. Inquire about the must-do activities and plan them first. In my case, I had my budget in MS Excel and stuck with it dearly. Once you’ve settled the must do’s go to the optional ones. It’s not compulsory to cook all the types of food you have in your village to get married.
2. Pre-sell yourself to your In-laws: Before the marriage talks begin, you have to sell yourself as a SON, not their daughter’s husband. As a man, you’ve got to know how to negotiate and sell rightly to be successful in marriage.
Never put up the wrong impression about yourself to your in-laws before the marriage. While selling yourself, get to know who calls the shots and establish a good rapport with him or her. Is it the dad, mum or uncle that wants to show you pepper?
Know this person beforehand and find their weak spot, who the person listens to or fears. If the man likes to drink, never go to his house without a bottle of his favourite drink. Be his friend and pamper the family before the marriage talks begin.
3. Negotiate Everything: Now that discussion about what is required has started, it’s a good time to show your skills by reducing the list of requirements your in-laws may have imposed on you.
Don’t show off your small money. Tell them you can’t do all except for the “Must Do’s”. There are several ways to do this, but firstly accept the list and go home, cross-check with your budget and sit your spouse to be down to discuss it. Then agree on what you can afford. You can now go back and negotiate. This is where all the good seeds you’ve sown should produce some results.
Sometimes you may do the negotiation yourself or send your spouse to be or even an elderly member of your family. Let her go and cry for her parents, tell them you have big plans for her and the entire family so they should not eat all at once. Sweet talk them till you get a rebate.
4. Save Ahead: I advise you start saving for the marriage project at least 2 years before the time. If you have a budget of 1M for instance, and you save 50k per month, in 20 months, your total marriage bill is covered. See there’s no magic, you’ve got to be very intentional about this.
Saving in instalments for each project helps you have financial ease. What if you save four years ahead? For a budget of 1M, you’ll only need to save N20,833.33 per month. This is the smartest thing to do whether you have fiance/fiancee now or not.
If you start saving for your marriage ceremony today, you will be able to win arguments of “buy me a shoe or human hair” faster. You will also avoid wasteful spending and best of all you will be able to afford your own wedding.
It is a thing of pride to be able to afford your own wedding. And have the donations and support from friends and family as spare funds.
This is getting too long and so I’ll end this first part here, watch for the second part… But in the meantime, lemme know your thoughts in the comment section.
Don’t forget to get a copy of Money Bliss Book where I shared how to save effectively and enjoy the now while securing the future.
Till I come your way again,
I’m Robor Bliss, a financial Strategist. I help individuals plan their Finances to enjoy today and have a secured tomorrow.
Watch out for the concluding part.
Welcome to the 5th day of 2018!
Do you know that by now, some people have exhausted salaries?
Do you know lots of people will take loans here and there to survive till they receive their next pay cheque?
Does this include you?
Well, I hope not but if so, there’s a solution and that is what I will be discussing in this post.
Last night, I received a call from a member of #MoneyBlissAcademy. I was excited when he shared with me testimonials of taking my course on budgeting and how he has been able to track every kobo since then.
But that was not the only reason he called. After all the positive vibes, he said, “Sir, can you believe I have exhausted my salary and I was just paid 4 days ago”.
I smiled and asked if he recorded his expenditures, and his reply was in the affirmative. He again thanked me for the free #MoneyBlissPlanner I gave him.
This guy earns N100k per month and he was paid on the 31st of December, 2017. He was happy he got paid after Christmas because he would have spent all during the festive period. But the bad news is that the whole salary didn’t survive the 4th day of January.
He paid school fees, shopped for the family, repaired his car and that was it. The whole salary was gone without saving not to talk about making an investment.
**As per ethics, I got his approval to share this story without mentioning his name.**
It’s no longer news that the cost of living is so high you can’t survive on only one salary except you’re paid in 7 or 8 figures.
So I wonder how people who earn less than N100k will survive this month and maybe the year.
This is why I’m writing this to show you a few things you can do to have #MoneyBliss in 2018.
1. Take an audit of your Finances. Look back to 2017, how much was your average monthly expenditure? If you don’t have a record of your finances in 2017, this might be difficult but you can make an estimate by subtracting how much was left from how much you earned each month last year.
2. Make a budget for the year and break it down into monthly budgets. This budget will guide you to know what areas of your life you need to allocate more resources to. It will help you track your expenditures and also help you know how much you need to make to fund all your estimated expenses for the year.
If you don’t know how to make a budget, take my free course on #MoneyBlissBudgeting here: https://goo.gl/RjqT9o
You will also get the #MoneyBlissPlanner for free after the course.
3. Get a side hustle. Now that you know your salary can’t fund your expenses, how about solving problems around you that can generate extra income? Let me give you some suggestions.
A. Do you know you can make money from right in your neighbourhood?
Do you know that with the number of people you’re surrounded with, you can make some cool extra cash?
Why not look for an everyday need that makes your neighbours take trips to the shopping mall and sell to them. You would have taken the stress of going to the mall off them and in turn, earned profits from doing that. Just know that where there are people, there are business opportunities.
B. Learn a new skill. Look for a problem people desperately need to solve and learn the skills to help them solve it. For example, Web design, Social media marketing and management, Digital marketing, Content creation etc. These skills are in high demand. Why not take this first quarter to learn them and start earning from the second quarter.
C. Sell something. The new economy is controlled by producers and salespeople. You must own a product or service one to survive in the coming years. So, create or find a hot selling product to sell. Note the word HOT, something people already want not what you want to introduce to them.
4. Do not spend any kobo if it’s not necessary. We all have cravings and wants but in face of the realities, you need to manage your resources smarter. Don’t buy everything you’re introduced to. Avoid spending on frivolities and be prudent.
After all said and done, don’t forget to save for the rainy days.
I’ll be sharing more on this with experts in different fields in Money Bliss Academy. Be part of this Community and learn how to win with your Finances. Join here: https://goo.gl/GTfZry
Also, get a copy of Money Bliss Book here: https://goo.gl/fn6TBV and learn the secrets to securing your future today.
In all you do, I wish you success.
Till I come your way again,
iAM Robor-Bliss, Owisi
Founder, Money Bliss Academy
SALARY NOT ENOUGH? HERE’S HOW YOU CAN EARN MORE IN 2018!
Do you want to earn more and live well in 2018? Then you’ve got to read this to the end.
My mum and dad were teachers and though we heard tales that teachers used to measure the length of their yam and cut small sizes to cook we never did.
This is because apart from their job, they were and my mum still is a farmer. I remember every day as soon as we returned from school, we will go to the farm. On the average, we farmed 2½ hrs daily on weekdays and sometimes the whole day on Saturdays while we take needed rest on Sundays.
This little side farming was what took care of our daily bread. I can’t remember us till date ever buying Garri – the most common food in the Niger Delta region.
See… No day goes by without a Garri meal in most families in that region yet we never bought it rather we sold our excess for cash. This was a rare gift to us by our evening farming system.
We will plant whatever is good for the season and at harvest time enjoy an abundance of food in our house. Corn, potatoes, veggies, cassava, plantain amongst others were our regulars.
So I grew up as a part-time farmer and entrepreneur. Aside from the farming with my parents, I’ll offer my ploughing skills for money sometimes when mum says we’re free.
To make matters even sweeter, we owned our farms individually too. So I can decide what to plant in my small land shared to us by our parents. So we lived and fed well even with delayed salaries and strikes here and there.
Now, why am I telling you about this?
I want to remind you that there’s no excuse not to be more than you already are. You have the capacity to be, build and earn more but will you act today? One of the excuses most people give for not saving is not having enough and by not saving today, they will almost never have enough for tomorrow.
Don’t you already know that the money you earn today is for you to take care of your needs for today and tomorrow? If you don’t please do know. This is one of the cores of my messages.
You may not necessarily own a farm or start farming like my parents and I but you must look inward to see what other value you can offer to earn more in the coming year. It could be a gift, talent or skill, it’s part of the ingredients you need to earn more. Take it, spice it up and monetize it.
Do you know how to cook sumptuous meals? Why not research a market in need for the same and start home delivery of irresistible pots of meals? This you can do after work and earn some side money.
There’s almost always a ready market for what you have to offer but you have to go all out and find where it is.
My friend, your income will not grow if you keep doing the same things year in year out. You’ve got to find more resources to achieve more. And guess what, they’re in you already but if not learn them.
You can learn almost any skill in 90 days, that will be only Quarter 1 of 2018 and start earning from it in the 2nd and 3rd quarters.
So here’s the conclusion of the matter…
Find alternative earning streams in 2018 and you don’t have to wait till 2018 comes.
Start today to figure out what other value you have to offer in exchange for more money in 2018.
Till I come your way again,
You should also get a copy of my Book – Money Bliss where I unravel the Saving and Investing as tools to secure the future and enjoy Financial Success with practical steps on how to. Here’s the link: https://goo.gl/UeR1Sw
iAM Robor-Bliss, Owisi
Founder, Getting Smarter With Money
What Masturbation taught me about Success!
Some years ago, I was a shy, poor and scared boy afraid to woo a girl because I hated rejection. Not that I encourage premarital sex but here was my experience.
I was lonely but consoled myself with the vision I was chasing at the time. I will stay behind my computer writing proposals for sponsorship and partnership for my ideas yet I wasn’t getting a headway. This was so frustrating yet I had no girlfriend.
Soon enough I found solace in masturbation. With the mindset that if I can’t get someone to do ‘it’ with me, why not do it by myself for myself. That was the beginning of my journey towards self-pleasure.
Guess what, it may be momentarily pleasurable but I think it’s just an illusion.
Sex wasn’t meant to be enjoyed alone neither was successes. You’ve got to get a partner with whom you can savour each other’s meat and be full.
As the years went by I tried to find love. I was heartbroken, pained and disappointed. But eventually, I found true love in the strangest of places.
Guess what, self-pleasure is just a tip of the iceberg. And you may be doing yourself a great disservice trying to get all by yourself all the time.
You’re masturbating if you are scared of partnering with people who will help you birth your ideas cos you don’t want to be disappointed.
You’re as well masturbating if you resort to doing all by yourself because you can trust anyone to do it with you.
You’re masturbating if you don’t have anyone to turn to or lean on when the chips are down.
You can’t do life by yourself, you need someone to hold your hand, lean on, support you and count on.
So, don’t masturbate your life, get a partner.
Hey! I know this is tough for some of us who have been disappointed over time. You trust someone builds something together and soon the person turns back and shatters everything.
You’re not alone. I’ve been there myself but don’t let one person spoil the bright chances you have to build something greater with the remaining billions of people on the face of the Earth.
Be careful but as you make plans towards 2018, plan for more partnerships, collaborations and genuine trust in friendship. Don’t masturbate your way through the coming years, build a team of people you can trust, lean on and support.
Get help in specific areas of your life and don’t be alone.
I’ll be right here to help you achieve more in your Finances by proper planning and strategy.
Don’t forget to get my soon to be released book – Money Bliss.
I wish you success ahead.
Till I come your way again,
iAM Robor Bliss, Owisi
Founder, Getting Smarter With Money